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this haunted play

by abstract companion

supported by
Ravenwell
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Ravenwell What a dark joy of experimental music. Reminds me of Bowie somewhere between Outside and Earthling. Great use of samples. They all fit in a way that feels great defies my understanding in words. Shades of early industrial and 80's goth beatniks. Great stuff. Favorite track: until the moon returns.
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1.
sipping moon beams the seeds of desire it's so far away not just lost and burning you've come too far to try gone so far your bones are still scarred there's no turning back though these four walls have seen when everything is at stake in this haunted play and the clockwork turns again i close my eyes softly as the shades go red 
 you're gone from here take me to somewhere far away in someone else's dreamless nightmare where dreams must lead us there must be something here just for me to believe in now i'm as sad as i can be i want to find the words i've been meaning to say it's so far away not just lost and burning you've come too far to try 
in some dark cave out on the shore line you saw above the clouds a starry pool that you thought would make the water flow not really calm the chill of your pain as it lifted in the eyes of another world your silence was silent as it used to be and you held your breath with both hands against the tide as i watched your shadow fade beneath the sun 
 and as the tears that broke from your eyes to dry the teardrops of yesterday's flowers i held my breath and i felt the earth shake me away i'm still alive
 and as the tears that broke from your eyes to dry the teardrops of yesterday's flowers i held my breath
2.
this can't be just anywhere 
 i need to be here this can't be just anyone's dream i need to see this i could climb over every wall 
 to be with you where sadness fell here i am standing contentless 
 on my own i've just had enough is all that i want for free

 it doesn't haunt me at all i've been walking alone for all these years and two in the back on the radio and my time is gone
 show me the sky 
 i’ll lead the way with flames as our shadows 
 i keep a picture of love in a plastic box something lying somewhere at the end a tear like coloured dust on my face when i'm not ok the song across the wall tells a lie and that's ok something is really wrong just fall and die all the lovers say soon the time will come when it won't hurt you at all but i keep falling 
 it doesn't haunt me at all i've been walking alone for all these years and two in the back on the radio and my time is gone
 show me the sky 
 i’ll lead the way with flames as our shadows
3.
darkness 06:15
set all the lights in flight headstone tells of no comfort the torch buried deep inside all is darkness all around this body is made of stone though you call this place home your face upon the pillow only the clouds in my head your eyes upon the door so close me in the dark your shadow takes every breath feel me falling falling from my face with your haunted voice i know that i am only a child but your touch is haunting me they’re lying here in front of me all in black can you hear them as they watch you fall i'm not afraid though the silence is strange follow me i will stay cast away these devil leads in a hell of darkness shapes and colours no time to think or taste no reason or rhyme sooner or later all around me nothing seems the same as they watch you rise with blood upon the ground your touch is haunting me

 they’re lying here in front of me all in black can you hear them as they watch you fall i'm not afraid though the silence is strange 
 i’ve seen an ever changing light i have been speaking to the clouds as they disappear i have courage to walk from here in my voice i can speak words 
to mark the time but i have to disappear
4.
faded light 04:27
she was nowhere across the room i saw her in the morning through late afternoon only had to smile 
 i’d go out walking across the restless way reeling and whispering to myself like a new born thing and i'd go out walking across my mother's home across the universe if i only had the time 
 even less room for thoughts that die or just a moment of mourning so right i should go on along with them
 i'm all by myself and something is missing the colours run 
 but in the faded light the silence looms in my head there's none to blame we break the dawn then the sky was new each breath stuttered out an angry tear the night we didn’t have anymore we disappeared out of sight and i stared for the shades we became unstuck in the light shining through the rain and then the fog split the sky and i ran like hell but i’m still the same 
 though my mind is gone
 to touch the edge with the flame rising not a silent ray of desire on the face to reach the sky beyond the grave at the crossings of the ground i have held in my heart there is nothing there is nothing 
 i could make it alone i have lived here lonely in spite of all the hurt 
and pain at the fading eye no one told me i needed to run away i would take my heart i’ll be a step ahead of the storm with blood in each hit of the sun i will learn of life in shades of gray
 i will learn of life in shades of gray
5.
on the eye 05:16
i see an angel 
 rising through the gloom with the shadow cast 
 on the eye of a clock and her servant words 
 like a whip through the wind as she lies there sleeping and breaks the silence in her wake it seems the heat is never long until the angels fall from their wings they won't have a mortal wound nothing more in the way then just as quick as i can feel it she will rise 

 when the angels call her and they'll tell her exactly what she needs to know when the pain is too real the silence will disappear and she answers them in her own way
 i'm nowhere around here any more there's a tear running up my eye and i cannot find the time to find the words you've never said before i keep thinking that it’s so long but that’s just in my head and beneath the starry sky i am no one special a ray of light with nowhere left to run

 she will rise when the angels call her and they'll tell her exactly what she needs to know when the pain is too real the silence will disappear and she answers them in her own way she will rise when the angels call her and they'll tell her exactly what she needs to know when the pain is too real the silence will disappear
6.
i have a pocket full of feathers 
 and flowers beneath my feet i have a rage inside me 
 that drives some forgotten dream in a madness like no other i'd rather be asleep with my shadow 
 than anywhere else and i'm following the line 
 i'm holding on to something when all i am is just an empty page and all i will ever be moon beams falling around my house they chase the flowers into town 
 and if we're falling into the darkness 
 she will pull me down in a haunted house
 in the wind she will surround me she will greet me with despair there are so many people so all alone
just keep on moving move on from that chaos 
 and all the hurt as we're drifting down watching every move keep an eye on the diamond as we're drifting along we find it hard to follow when the world is one big small cell in front of us on this big globe i just can't bear to look back at all the things that took me here and now it used to feel like a garden

 your eyes are just a crooked smile they've been seen before as they're drifting from view just when you think you’re going home then she holds you like a crystal ball and she says is this her reflection? this is her hands shaking like a tear drop on her cheek in her arms she holds the world's hand but it just doesn't have much to say as she ties his shadow disappears as she swirls through the crowd sighs like butterflies inside this beautiful little scene that nobody else could capture there's nothing left for us to say it had to be this way
it had to be this way

 and if we're falling into the darkness 
 she will pull me down in a haunted house
 in the wind she will surround me she will greet me with despair there are so many people so all alone
just keep on moving on from that chaos 
and all the hurt as we're drifting down
7.
shattered 04:28
your silence in a crowded room the softness of your skin as the tear that falls slow into the shattered night it rolls from my face frozen in the river way light on the edge the edge of day
 the garden gates have closed and all the broken glass all the voices lead me to despair in the hush of the past

 we fell beneath the stars and into the sunset the fallen shadows on your face all the nightmares seem to fade 
 at the edge of the sea an ocean of angel wings darkness beyond the rain an open desperate cry in a sky on fire

 i see the river and taste the yearning it swims through my veins with an ache in my heart the feeling is strong as the heavens pull me down in flames of fire i rise above the clouds forever gone
 no light of day i fall 
 and i look for you in the wind

 in our own starry night baptized in burning black blazing as the sun that fades from the sky one of the falling stars lace our face with the flames 
 we're afraid to touch the night baptized in all firelight and love
8.
i will not rest here just yet
 i will keep on dreaming though what's real will be an illusion the confusion is not a reflection so now i'll just watch the flames watch them fall along the way as if everything was all right 
 this place seems so unreal what i find in the sound of falling stars drop the night the moon sinks beneath 
 we've got to hold on til the spirit rises it's hard to fight the fading of the things as we push it all away 
 the demons pour out of dark and the rage of the night 
 becomes my light my light

 i will not rest until the moon returns i will never let it rain on a new born heart a heart ready for what the future holds i’ve made mistakes but they are mine i could be just like the other without wings to break the silence
 the black shadow on my face the burning track below the soul i am seeing the strength of the flame rising every day i need the sun as my shield and the angels with other faces
 shoot down the night the flame that is you
 as we push it all away 
 the demons pouring out of the dark and the rage of the night 
 becomes my light
 the rage of the night becomes my light
 the rage of the night becomes my light
9.
renascent 04:55
i saw four thousand holes in the moon and every house on the hill an image on its face in every leaf of every breeze the smell of fear hangs in every grain of sand i look down upon my body at all the friends buried in the ground but if we would listen they would tell us things we do not know so hold me close and hold me tight tell me love isn't going away if your hand is on my heart 

 i saw myself in a dream
 and i put on another face she smiled at me and looked back with a tear in her eye
 time to slip into the restless light
 shining through the clouds down here in the black the night has just begun

 i thought i saw a house 
 i thought i had been inside who would listen to my heart song so much to ask of anyone i was scared i was bare my arms around her like a shroud but i could not touch her face she's in all directions 
 with eyes that can see moving now drifting out 
 on a darkened street in and out of these machines in comes this serenade beats me senseless with silent words

 i saw myself in a dream
 and i put on another face she smiled at me and looked back with a tear in her eye
 time to slip into the restless light
 shining through the clouds down here in the black the night has just begun

 i've been here all along in my own little house when nights were few and my dreams were not real then i woke up grey eyes with tears in the back of my mind at the back of my time we sat in the moon's bath in our rendezvous 
 i saw myself in a dream
 where i put on another face she smiled at me and looked back with a tear in her eye
 time to slip into the restless light
 shining through the clouds down here in the black the night has just begun

10.
a star upon your face the moon is at my side and i'm going nowhere i’m going anywhere my love is like a restless leaf it moves right in and on and it leaves me wild there it goes there it goes i know i’ve got something to say walk and run walk and run but not with joy inside to answer your call no way to know it all to answer your call your heart beneath the sun
 when i feel my breath on the wind 
 the heavens laughed in my face when love came 
 and brought me to my knees i wouldn't ask for forgiveness
 like any man of darkness 
 i have wings but even i couldn't face the sun i have the eye of a raven chased from the sky hear the thunder break the dawn 
 to a light that will lead me clear to a light that will lead me lead me clear soon you'll be smiling alone beside me 
 but my heart is aching asleep without the love 

 i'm longing we sailed on together you and i in this house of fear 
 we are clinging to each star that brings me here each star that brings me here

 your heart beneath the sun
 when i feel my breath on the wind 
 the heavens laughed in my face when love came 
 and brought me to my knees i wouldn't ask for forgiveness
 like any man of darkness
11.
unspoken 05:50
drift away my love meet me where it never ends a reflection in the dark faded words unspoken in your own way you were never here in your own home in the dark sad words and lonely tears are all they’ll ever hear but when i look in your eyes there you are barely a smile and inside you're gone so lonesome and alone

 in the lost light of night
 there lies a rose a beautiful flower there there was something inside
 the darkest shadows 
 are everywhere you look that's where we are but i still believe in someday

 you found the world was wrong 
 just one spark from above the clouds all the eyes of sorrow saw us coming after all these years there is nothing that was left and when you get there 
 it’s closed forever
 silent cries of mourning the tears i've held for you 
 the one i could trust to walk away sometimes these words 
 i have held too long i feel this love that has no end these feelings of the moment are still here you are the first thing that i need and i want more i can hardly find the words to say but there's so much more 
 in the lost light of night
 there lies a rose a beautiful flower there there was something inside
the darkest shadows 
 are everywhere you look that's where we are but i still believe in someday

12.
on wings of a darkened shroud in the soft light of an angel's dream darkness comes from the flames and spirits no longer answer and so it was that some words were taken in from a knock on the door in the face of a silent tear and the voice it would speak from the heart

 a face under the shadow’s surface the world of our dreams has fallen through and glory descends on us all in the violence of its ending we have come undone danger lies in wait the silent souls cry in the bitter kiss the last tear comes down for anyone still sleeping knows heard the distant cry of an angel 
 here in my own emptiness there where i long to be in a deep hole within me all around me no one could know but something felt so wrong and now a shadow's there 
 with no one else in sight i am falling no longer thinking of anything i'm thinking of you rescuing these wounds that can't heal the wounds i have found in me the memory of your face 
 a face under the shadow’s surface the world of our dreams has fallen and it descends on us all in the violence of its ending we have come undone danger lies in wait the silent souls cry in the bitter kiss the last tear comes down for anyone still sleeping knows heard the distant cry of an angel telling us love is just lying there 
 i watch the sky suffer another morning and a queen on her back the haunted star must fall blazing into the gloom of her eyes all my days i've been running around lonely rivers flowing under my wings
13.
your silence 05:29
my eyes of the future are new my senses have been scarred this face underneath the moon there's new beauty and it's more than i can take my spirit is calling you in your arms i hold your hand in your eyes i know your name just like it always was before you are here and never there all this time my body was longing my body is saying no i won't feel anymore this silence in my head and it's more than i can take my spirit is calling you i’ve lived inside your life in glorious darkness 
 your silence is ringing 
 because you're not here from the sadness there's no flying the sky has stretched a thousand miles in the universe you face you'll always be the only thing holding me here as you slowly lead me down all i need is you 
 in your embrace softly calling out 
 across your night sky i call out your name 
 as we break the dawn and the light as we rise above the rain saying come to me 
 stay with us tonight
 in a world gone mad on clouds they rise to the sky they fly over the tears here on a moon too beautiful for words how will i learn too much in a lifetime treated like a ghost in a world gone mad

 your silence is ringing 
 because you're not here from the sadness there's no flying the sky has stretched a thousand miles in the universe you face you'll always be the only thing holding me here as you slowly lead me down

credits

released November 13, 2023

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tone drop Los Angeles, California

tone drop is textural electronics, electro-acoustic composition, and song forms by g.e. stinson.

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